Let’s face it, getting your child to listen isn’t always easy….
But it feels like it should be because, I mean, a child can’t be that hard to deal with, right?
Remember when you thought you’d NEVER have the child that threw a tantrum when they didn’t get their way, yelled “I hate you”, or hit their sibling (or insert other ridiculous belief here _________)?
You thought you’d be able to gently explain to them that this type of behavior is not OK and then everyone would get along and be happy. Forever.
It’s laughable now isn’t it??
When we don’t value blind obedience, we need to be OK with our child voicing objections, disagreeing with us, taking a stubborn stance, and refusing to cooperate on things they don’t feel is fair.
😒🙄😬 But this SUCKS in practice. 😠🤬😔
It triggers so much inside of us.
Their not listening makes us feel disrespected, and annoyed. Not to mention it’s exhausting and we don’t always have the time or patience for it. It’s easier when they do what we say!!
🤜 We have this tug-of-war going on inside of us. 🤛
This tug-of-war is why parenting is so hard. Because nothing is black and white. It’s ALLLLLLL gray.
On one hand, we want our child to be able to express their emotions and opinions freely BUT on the other hand, we don’t want to raise a self-absorbed, inconsiderate child.
We don’t want to raise an inconsiderate child BUT we also don’t want to raise a people-pleaser.
We want to respect our child’s feelings BUT we also need to be respectful to those around us (e.g. we can’t just let them go ballistic in a restaurant).
We recognize that our child’s feelings are valid BUT our feelings matter too and they can’t just walk all over us.
So what do we do?
I’m gonna be straight with you → There is no one right way to do this.
This is life. This is parenting.
We live in the gray.
And this means we get to play in the gray without the pressure of trying to perfectly fit into the black or white.
We CAN feel comfortable in the uncertainty and uneasiness rather than feeling inadequate.
Living in the gray is not about throwing your hands up in the air and becoming complacent and adopting an “Everything is Awesome!” attitude when everything is clearly not awesome.
→ It’s about knowing and trusting your abilities to navigate the unknown situations, the persistent behaviors, the big emotions, or the curveballs life throws your way (because let’s face it, as soon as you feel like you’ve got a handle on your kid they go and switch things up!)
→ It’s about sitting with your emotions as they arise so they don’t overtake you and send you down a path that isn’t aligned with who you are, what you need, or how you want to raise your child.
→ It’s about being grounded and rooted in your true self so that you can confidently handle any situation that arises with your kids.
💕 I promise you, you are fully capable of this. 💕
You are the perfect parent for your child
When you’re able to sit in the discomfort of the gray while simultaneously navigating through it, you become an example to your child of what’s possible.
You can then help them stay true to themselves so they aren’t easily influenced by others, thrown off when life gets a bit hard, or overwhelmed when there isn’t an obvious solution right in front of them.
If you want to have a deep, unwavering faith in yourself as a parent and want someone to help you with this, then I encourage you to check out my free training on how to get your kid to listen when you don’t value blind obedience to see if it makes sense to work together.
Either way, you are an awesome parent. 🥰
Don’t let anyone ever make you feel otherwise (including yourself!)
Grab my FREE training:
How to get your kids to listen without yelling, threats, or bribes.Yes, I want this!